Our Love Story Begins Today

Good job mom. At least you made it there and home safely. We really need to work on your directional skills. Especially for places you’ve been.  Anyhow, now people can see the nice bump on his forehead. 😆 Good Job 👏 

You seemed annoyed that I went to get beer last night, but I’m glad I did. I sure as heck didn’t have time to get it today. This is just the most recent reminder that we really should do things when we can and not wait until we have to (last minute). Things always come up and we can’t control that, but we can control it before. Yes, I was tired, but I had the energy and time to do it, so I did. Lots of stuff came up today and it would have been difficult and stressful to have waited and I could have missed out. Like inviting Chu Ban over before we left like we did for my parents and Anh Minh. Control what we can to minimize future issues…

I was debating posting yesterday until we got home, but we didn’t get home. Wondering if I should not wait today. It’ll be late by the time we get home so I better post while I can. Minus the flight issues, it wasn’t a bad trip (but also not great). Thanks for planning everything. I’ll try to see if I can handle the reimbursements. 🙏 we get a lot of funds back for the time wasted. Troi Oi!!!

You shouldn’t beat yourself up for the mishaps on the flights this trip. They are out of your control and we did what we thought was best at the time. This is not like other situations where you know better. In this case you couldn’t really do anything at the time. Hopefully we will find some silver linings as a result of this trip. I can tell you it’s not the gummies I bought in Germany. Third times a charm for our travel tomorrow. 🙏 

You’re a good mom to Vinh. You are a good child to your parents and sister to your siblings. I’m not your friend, but you seem like an okay friend. What I realize is those things don’t necessarily make you a good wife. I think I asked you before what you thought the expectations of a husband should be and maybe what you think the expectations for a husband should be, but I don’t think I ever heard back. In any case, unless I do, I have my own expectations of a wife: - take care of me (I do most of the shopping, cleaning, cooking, protecting, maintenance) - care about me and my happiness (many things are encompassing of yours or Vinh’s or someone else’s happiness, but rarely is it mine alone) - plan for a future with me (your plans only involve you and Vinh and when I mention us, you give me a side eye) You did a lot more when we were dating, but now I find myself taking care of myself and us. It feels like all your time is spent on your other roles at the sacrifice of your role as a wi...

I don’t think we ever talked about this in therapy. But it seems to be the thorn in the side of our travels together (and in our regular lives). The earliest incident I can recall and cannot forget is at Walmart in Canada where you got cussed out (unnecessarily). I was always embarrassed, but I’m kinda glad I didn’t react cause it probably would have led to violence in a foreign country.  Not sure if that’s what you want to see, but I don’t see it as productive or helpful. Since that time, not much has changed. It’s similar to Vinh when he doesn’t pay attention. Thankfully, nothing has happened like Canada, but there’s always the possibility and ultimately, it’s very inconsiderate and could be dangerous. I hope we can find a way to improve on this before it’s too late… 🙏 

Today is the last day of actual vacation. The weather has held up pretty good. Hoping that it will be good until everyone leaves Tuscany. 🙏  I wouldn’t say I’m excited to go back to work, but I’m also not sad about going home. So I guess that’s good. No love lost or sadness. I think I am able to take some lessons and motivations back with me to the states. I pray they’ll stick. 

Sorry that I shared your food today. I was trying to be nice and also help you not overeat. For dinner, you can have your own dish and not share with anyone. I can order to share with Vinh. Hope you had fun in Pisa. Sorry I paid 5 euros for the shot glass. But it was worth it to save the trouble of looking and buying later. Only 1 day left. Please don’t be too sad.

I was listening to Anna talk about Trang and how they’ve given up on Lucas and you guys think they can do more, but are just making excuses. I don’t know if you realize the similarities with your actions. I know it’s not the same, but I often hear you say to me that you can’t do or have done all you can. I don’t think you have, but there’s nothing I can do to change your mind if that’s what you believe. So hopefully, as I share my observations of the similarities, you can understand how I feel and maybe that can help change your perspective/mind 🙏.

Oops, I forgot I blogged about this yesterday. Today we went to Vinci and visited a winery. I’m glad you guys were able to enjoy the culture. The food was good and so was the service. I felt bad after we left that I didn’t make Marisela more origami. It was nice that the weather held off for the most part to allow us a dry day, but I’m not as optimistic about the rest of the week. But being pessimistic will ensure I’m not disappointed, and possibly be pleasantly surprised…

I’m starting to feel like if I’ve seen one part of Italy, I’ve seen it all. At least from the city standpoint. Maybe spending time in small towns along the countryside would be different. Although, this house is pretty scary. Could we get nicer accommodations in the countryside? That’s kind of what I thought Tuscany would be like. Florence was pretty much like Rome and Milan. Anyhow, thanks for planning everything. Did you know how rustic this accommodations would be here? I’ve never been to a hostel, but I feel like it would be like this?

Internet was kinda shotty so far in Italy. I should have posted it earlier in Amsterdam, but then again, we didn’t really have time. That’s why I think it’s really important to do things when you can (immediately if possible) because things always happen to adjust your plans. In hindsight you asked why I didn’t just do it, it’s because you wanted to do the opposite, but this is a good example of how you have your own beliefs and you don’t think you’re wrong. The only way to help shape your behavior is to let you fail. I don’t want this to be the same about more important things…

I just discovered another instance where Vinh’s behavior mimics yours. On the ferry, you wanted him to go see the cool view from outside and he didn’t want to go and you didn’t want him to miss out. He also says he understands and repeats the same behavior we don’t like. Maybe your frustration towards him sometimes can give you an insight into my frustration as well. DLLC 🙏 

Yesterday was a frustrating night. I’m glad I blogged earlier so now I had some time to think about it. Ultimately, there are a couple of things. When you were single, you were independent and could do everything yourself. You had to because you were single. When you got married, you joined into a union. If you don’t think you need help or if you want to do things alone (that should be done together) maybe you should be single again. You mentioned before that you had a chip on your shoulder and that’s why you try to be independent in our relationship. I’m can’t keep trying. If you want to sacrifice your health and safety and that of your son and our family to proof you can do things alone, that’s on your conscience if anything happens from your stubbornness. Lastly, whether you believe it or not, you are very lucky to have someone that puts up with all your issues. You claim to be traditional, but you are more opinionated than a traditional Vietnamese wife. I do a lot and ignore a lot....

This morning you washed the backpack and didn’t take everything out. Rather than own up to it, you tried to hide it. Why? Because you didn’t want to hear me talk about it? I get it, but that’s not owning up to your actions. It was a very small thing, but is that to say that Vinh, me, or anyone else should do the same? I would think you’d answer that question no. So why wouldn’t you follow your own answer? If I’m wrong, let me know. I can start hiding and deflecting responsibility too. It’s just frustrating and saddening. Did you see that you also left a cough drop in there or did you just ignore me at that point. FML…

You say your prays come true, so I hope whatever you prayed for today will come true. I feel like my prayers only came true when I was a kid. Maybe I ask for too much these days (and I’m not talking about the lottery). Walgreens wasn’t a prayer, but they let us get 20 photos free $7.80 value. Makes up for my missed 10% off from breakfast. I pray for a safe and good rest of vacation and life. DDLC!!!

They say that vacations are make or break on relationships. I think the say the same about a lot of things’ impact on relationships (i.e. kids). I don’t know why vacations have to be so hard for us. I am working really hard on being patient, but I’m being tested at every opportunity. I would love to take your logic and avoid the source material. But if I did that, we would no longer be a couple or travel together. In today’s case, specifically the walk to Lady Pi Pi, I see your thought process, but you didn’t process everything. You had us go downhill to go back uphill again. You are well aware everything towards the street is uphill…. 😩 

I sensed a lot of passive aggressiveness from you during this trip. At home sometimes too. When you “take responsibility” for something, it doesn’t seem like you really care or are more concerned about saying sorry, but not being responsible… Remember that song I liked about this guy wanting to be better because he has a son who will copy him? Vinh looks up to both of us for lessons on how to act. He sees more than we know. We need to be better…

We’ve arrived somewhere we can finally settle down.  Then Vinh breaks the table. FOLs. The day was going pretty good I thought too. Almost ended well. Thanks for the happy ending. I know it’s just money, but I was actually pretty sad and  defeated after it happened. So sad I couldn’t even yell at Vinh. He’s cute and all, but sometimes he’s just too much. I know it’s not like other “bad” kids, but it still sucks. So thank you for making it better. ATEN!!!

I’m pretty sure it was in the movie “The Vow”. This daughter asked her mom why she stayed with her dad after he cheated on her with the daughter’s friend. The mom said I forgave him for all the things he’s did right and not punish him for the one thing he did wrong (or something similar). You do a lot for us. I know, but it’s the same things I HATE that you keep doing in different ways that is so frustrating. Two that come to mind now: being late and being inconsiderate. I really hope we can try to improve on that. The husband only cheated once…

How coincidental that we are experiencing life’s hiccup right after I blogged about dealing with stress and being aware.  I think what I learned today is that I should probably be more vocal in some causes about decisions instead of being amicable. I can’t be annoyed if I didn’t make fake part in the process…

I know you have a lot of things on your mind sometimes. I think it would be helpful if we could find ways to help you deal with awareness and stress. Sometimes I see that you do things you do things to others that you wouldn’t want done to you. Anyhow, I think it’s a good thing to be able to be aware and deal with stress better. It makes it better for yourself and those around you. We should look into this for Team Boba.

We’re not even having fun yet. At least it’s pretty much time to go.  I had planned for the day to go different, but it’s hard to swim against the current. Sometimes you just gotta go with it. Hopefully Vinh will have a good vacation. It’s highly likely that his experience will impact everyone else. 🙏 

I heard somewhere that I should say the 3rd thing that comes to my mind. Not the first or second thing. I think a lot of times doing so probably could make a big difference.  Just wanted or share something I learned that I thought could be useful to others. There’s an old thing I like called food for thought. I wonder what happened to it…

The maid did a pretty good job today. Maybe it took longer cause our house was so dirty? Anyhow, glad it’s clean. We can see the potential 😆. I’m glad the floors are clean and vacuumed. Not that our house is ever really dirty, but it’s nice having things cleaned like after a carwash. I forgot what else I was gonna say. WWW

Life is a puzzle. It’s a challenge to figure out where all the pieces go and to know if pieces are to a different puzzle and not your own. Sometimes it can be frustrating, but when everything falls into place, it’s amazing. We’ve had moments where our pieces fit together. But life is always adding pieces, we just need to make sure it’s part of our puzzle and put them it together. Be patient. 

Not sure if Bruce Lee really said that, but it’s a pretty good goal to strive for. Today it’s been a heck of a slow and hot and challenging round of golf, but I’ve been able to adapt and figure it out in the back 9. The burger was not as good as I remember, but it will take me through until I get home. Could use some more water 😂. Thanks for bonding with Vinh. TTQD!!!

There’s an old saying where they ask if someone is a ten (ranking), but has a defect, what is their final ranking. Just when I see your value, you have to share your defects.  Your bitterness takes you from a ten to 💩. I wish you could see that it’s not a good look. Hopefully, you don’t show that side to anyone else. Or no one else seen it. It’s hard to forget. TLG. For reals!

Man, I don’t know what it is, but I’ve been so tired so early lately. But I end up waking up early so I guess it makes up for it. Staying productive. Today I swapped cars with Minh. She struggled to park like you. She also gave me an empty tank like you. Maybe that’s why you like her so much 🤔.

Accidents happen. I get it, that’s why they’re called accidents (Vince’s mom said that to me once). What’s significant is if accidents happen to same person or same accident a lot?  Actuaries have to calculate the risk when they price out insurance. So it is statistically significant. Maybe you’re just lucky/unlucky? Hopefully your luck/unluck changes. 🍀 and 🙏!

I wanted to say a lot this morning, but I didn’t. It wasn’t the right time and your emotions were high. Now I’ve had a whole day to let it simmer. I’m reminded of Trang hitting Lucas and Nick and Finley. I’m reminded of Anna yelling in Yellowstone. I’m reminded of how you felt about Paul. Then you blamed me for the way I make you feel. And you said you don’t feel bad about it. Not sure if there’s more to it, but I don’t think it’s right. How would you feel if I told your friends or other people about what happened? If you’re okay with that, then maybe you’re really okay with it happening? Life happens, but we have to be mature about it. Letting other people control how you feel is not the right way to go about. That means you have no self control, which I understood about food, but maybe it’s about everything. Vinh is only going to get older and find different ways to test you. So will life. If you can’t find a way to control yourself, you and those around you are in for a world of dif...