Our Love Story Begins Today

I think I asked you before if you’d still marry me if we went back in time. I don’t recall your answer, but I’m assuming it’s yes because it got you Vinh.  I always go back and forth about what I would do. Especially after we have a rough moment. I keep telling myself that it’s a rough moment, not a rough life. But it is difficult. I don’t know if you really care for me or I don’t feel it.  But after 🀄️ sessions, when I’m happy or relaxed or feeling carefree, I find myself thinking about you. On this golf trip I thought about you a lot. So it’s more than 50/50 that I would choose to marry you and have Vinh. I hope either I discover your caring that I miss or that you become more caring and thoughtful. Or both. But I can say that it’s a yes now for me. ATEN!

And how do we get to here: I still like that photo we took in Notre Dame. Anyhow, I hope today is a positive turning point. Sometimes is so frustrating to hear you talk so fatalistically, but if that's what it takes for you to get somewhere positive for everyone, IIWII. I've always one to favor results over intentions. It's annoying to have to blog from my Mac mini in order to get pictures to show up, but I'm more than happy to continue to blog here, but only if it's positive. *pray*

I know it’s wrong 😂. Anyhow, I wanted to take the opportunity today to wish you and our family a prosperous, peaceful, healthy, and happy Tet.  I know there have been lots of ups and downs and lefts and rights, but I think we’ve done well to continue moving forward. It would be nice if the journey was smoother, but at least we didn’t go backwards (failure to conceive isn’t a step back). I’m hopeful that the stars and universe are aligning for us this year. It may not be where we think we want to go, but I have faith that it’s where we should be. 🙏 

Are like assholes they say. Because everyone has one. It’s unfortunate that some of your family may have a negative one of me. It’s also unfortunate that you don’t defend me or explain your role in it, but it is what it is. I’m not saying they’re wrong, but they definitely don’t know the whole story and you’re not helping it either.  I really have tried to do and give you everything you asked for (even things I don’t want to), but in return, what I get is lacking and a challenging life. I really hope you eventually learn to stop blaming others or take the easy way out and realize that part of being an adult in a relationship is taking accountability for your actions and growing to be better for everyone. You spend all this time doing the religious stuff, but has it made you a better spouse or parent or just make you feel good about yourself? You talk about how I treat you different than others, you ever think it’s the same with you and your treatment of me?

I wish we could know how each of our actions impacts the future. But usually we can’t. I don’t know how Vinh’s fall (our fail) will impact him. I pray it does him good like Tony. But it can also do us good.  We can use the experience to be better parents and to reiterate what’s really important. I’m not gonna say life is great as long as we’re together. I mean we still need to make and have money. But I will try to appreciate what we have more.

You did awesome with my cousins and the day in Vung Tau. I know you said it was stressful, but you did well. At least I think you did.  For that, I’m gonna give you one heart back. Now you’re ❤️ 💔 💔 💔 💔. So our love story gets to continue. Keep up the good work and you’ll be at full love in no time…